Artemis Fowl Is Both Extremely Bland and Traumatically Terrifying

Nonso Anozie, Lara McDonnell, Josh Gad and Ferdia Shaw in “Artemis Fowl” (2020, Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)

After 20 years of development hell, an adaptation of the beloved Young Adult book, Artemis Fowl, is finally here. The film finally showed promise — a class-A director, Kenneth Branagh, was attached to the project and the first teaser felt like an interesting, but proper take on the beloved character, until it got pushed back to May of 2020 and the second trailer made it very…