The Climbers is Goofy and Completely Unrealistic
The Climbers is released in North America in IMAX for 5 days only September 30th to October 4th, and then for two full weeks in conventional theaters. It tells the story of the Chinese Mountaineering Team’s deadly ascent to Mount Everest, after their first attempt, in 1960, was overshadowed by their lack of photographic evidence, even if they succeeded. Mountaineer Fang Wouzhou (Wu Jing) assembles a team to ascend Everest and gather photographic evidence, but Everest seems like the most impossible task in the world as the ELEMENTS aren’t in favor of the Chinese, but they still continue, for the Motherland.
The most fundamental problem about The Climbers is that none of it is realistic. I think we all know that climbing Mount Everest is a daunting task which can be incredibly dangerous (and deadly) if not prepared properly (even that can’t be enough as the weather is bold unpredictable). Yet, everything about The Climbers’ action setpieces are so unrealistically out-there that you don’t believe that anything can happen. All of the characters would probably be dead by the first action setpiece, but Wu Jing clings to a ladder to slide down the mountain during an avalanche and grabs someone with his hand. They almost jump in a crevasse, but he opens the ladder in sheer luck. Another setpiece involving a large ladder and a boulder (mind you) is even more far-fetched than the sliding ladder. And those unrealistic action setpieces permeate the film with lackluster CGI, horrible 5fps digital slow-mo sequences with some nice overacting from Zhang Ziyi and Wu Jing makes EVEREST, a dangerous climb, the most dangerous mountain (or “thing”) ever created by the modern God.
Yes, the performances are pretty good, notably Wu Jing who can hold his own for the most part of the movie. The film’s best sequence is before they arrive at Everest’s base-camp and a 20–25 minute training montage begins in which we see the characters at their weakest, emotionally, but also sets in stone the fate of certain characters. We know, right when we see a frail and weak Li Guoliang (Jing Boran), that he will die (and he does, sacrificing himself for the CAMERA, which leads to Songlin (Zhang Yi) realizing that it was wrong for him to say that you should sacrifice yourself for the photographic evidence). As fot that parenthese, most characters are egotistical and only want to climb Everest to fill their petulant egos — like Yang Guan (Hu Ge & Jackie Chan) who wants to Climb Everest, amidst its medical conditions and his resounding “NO” from the nurse, because he wants to make his dead father proud. His ego makes him lose a leg and return, mid-credits, in the form of a wild cameo from Jackie Chan. There was no reason for Jackie Chan to be in the movie, the scene adds nothing and is only there to make you say “Hey! I know that guy!” Sad thing about the sequence is that he probably got paid tons of money for a minor, pedantic, extended cameo that could’ve been easily cut out of the movie. People who didn’t stay for the credits said “Where was Jackie Chan?” The film falsely advertises Jackie Chan as a top-billing star, but is reduced to a small cameo just for Chan to say “Hi!” to audiences who stayed.
Even with Chan, Ziyi and Jing, The Climbers fails on almost every level. The performances are sometimes solid, sometimes eye-rolling (especially Ziyi’s melodramatic overacting w/pulmonary edema), and the training sequence is quite good. But the movie is too predictable, too far-fetched and goofy for me to actually care, so I’ll leave it at that. See it only for curious minds.
✯½
